SOUTHERN LIVING USA

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introducing himself to the first person he sees and asks, “what is your IQ?” to which the man answers “241.”

“That is wonderful,” says Einstein. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss.”

Then Einstein introduces himself to a woman and asks, “what is your IQ?” to which the woman answers “144.”

“That is great,” responds Einstein. “We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!”

Einstein goes to another person and asks, “what is your IQ?” to which the man answers, “51.”

Einstein responds, “How about them Cowboys?”

A man and a woman decided to abstain from sex before marriage. After making love on their wedding night, the man looked over at his bride and noticed that she appeared quite annoyed.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Well,” she said, “when I agreed to marry you, I didn’t realize that you had such a small organ.”

To which the man replied, “Well, when I agreed to marry YOU, I didn’t realize that my organ would be playing in a cathedral!”

There was a Southern preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After six children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s salary.

There was much yelling and bickering about how much the preacher’s additional children were costing the church.

Finally the preacher stood up and spoke to the crowd, “Having children is an act of GOD!” Silence fell upon the congregation.

In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, “Snow and rain are also acts of GOD, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!”